Christmas Morning

I have some time this Christmas morning. My brother unintentionally woke me up 2 hours earlier than I had planned and all attempts of going back to sleep have failed. God doesn't want me to sleep right now. My brother is presently back to sleeping now, so there is peace in the house for the moment.

As I was lying in my bed, I started thinking about Christmas and what it means to me, and what it should mean to me. I often wonder what happened to the excitement that I had as a kid when I saw all of the stuff that told me Christmas was on the way. I used to see the beautiful wreaths with the big red ribbons hanging from the lights around the sanctuary of our church and feel some deep, joyful anticipation. Now when I see the wreaths, I wonder where they buy them and how much they cost the church. The same is true of the enormous beautiful Christmas tree in the corner of the sanctuary that is a long-standing church tradition. As a kid, I certainly didn't understand Christmas for what it really means, but I still found reasons to be excited over presents that I was sure to get. Now that I have a much deeper understanding of the true gift of Christmas, I should have a deeper joy and excitement over the whole business. I wonder where that went. I am praying for a greater joy and satisfaction in God this Christmas so that I can really sense the love, joy and peace that come from embracing the greatest gift that we will ever know...the baby Jesus.

As I have reflected on some recent conversations I have had with friends, I felt God reminding me of something very profound. Yesterday I was talking on the phone with Julie, my friend and partner in ministry, and we were discussing how we are already wishing we were back in Mexico. But when we were in Mexico, we had been so excited about being able to come home and see our families and friends, and being able to enjoy the many great aspects of our American culture. It's not that we are unhappy here, in fact we are having a great time, but there is a longing to be back directly involved in the ministry of the gospel and in the Mexican culture. And when we were in Mexico, there were so many things we missed about being in the States, that we were excited about coming home.

I suppose this is the way it will always be for us as missionaries. We are happy where we are, but we still wish to come home. And when we are home we wish to be back on the field. This is not a bad thing at all. In fact, my Mexican friend Valerie emailed me from France shortly before going home and wrote, " I'm excited to come home, but happy to be here. It's a perfect state of being don't you think?" I do.

I think that we as Christians are always supposed to be in that mindset. We are not home. It is not that I am unhappy here, in fact the older I get and the more I understand that I am to find my truest joy and satisfaction in Christ, the happier I seem to be. That is how I most glorify Him. But at the same time, I know that heaven is my home and I am not there. The more I find my joy in Him, the more my heart longs for heaven where I will be able to truly enjoy Him forever without barriers. This longing for and enjoyment of God allows me to trust Him more and more which enables me to love others more deeply. This is what I want to be able to do when I return to Mexico in a week.

C.S. Lewis wrote, "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world" and "Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither." This is very true. I long to be more heavenly-minded, for His fuller glory and my deeper joy.

This is God's message to me this peaceful Christmas morning. His gift, the baby Jesus, is the reason I can bank on His promises to satisfy me more deeply than anything this world has to offer. I pray that I will feel and understand the excitement and joy of Christmas because of this.
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

~The Apostle Paul, Romans 15:13